my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
