Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize