Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
