what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
