What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
