Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
