After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
