I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
