She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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