This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize
