your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
