how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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