Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
