I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
