No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
