I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
When are your genitals available?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
