But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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