Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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