Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
