...so i touched it.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I party with great urgency now.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
