Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Randomize
