ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
