i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
