I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
