it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
