i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I love you. Go after that dick
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize