I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
