Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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