hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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