Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
