So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
