i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
