I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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