I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
