I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
