i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
