if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
