my soul wont recognize me after tonight
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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