brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
