she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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