Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
