Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
