We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
sarcasm needs its own font
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
