If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
