I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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