She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
