hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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