you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
