Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
