goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
