"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
