i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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