I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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