i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I will die if light touches me.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
