My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
