Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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