Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
