dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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