HIV tests are more positive than that guy
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
