I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
last night I used snow as a chaser
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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