I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
