I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
