i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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