all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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