so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
