Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
