I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
