if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Congratulations! We have a period
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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