Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
